Heading for a fall

The weather wasn’t great, and I was worrying. Worrying about messing up U-turns, worrying about doing 70mph on a dual carriageway in the wind and rain, worrying about sliding across a roundabout, worrying about anything and everything bike related. I was extra careful to avoid drain covers and white lines, and I was definitely more cautious, maybe overly so on the faster roads. I now realise that drain covers are almost always somewhere really inconvenient for bikers. I’m guessing the people who put them there don’t ride bikes (Maybe they should).
Not a good day to worry as it was my Mock Test. The real thing is approaching much faster than I anticipated so today we’ll see if it’s asking too much.
We had a ride out to a nice wide road for a U-turn or two. First one went fine, second one went fine. Thinking I may have the hang of this now, we moved onto a slightly narrower road. I didn’t feel overly concerned, but as soon as I started to move I felt the clutch wasn’t right.
I pulled the clutch in, the bike slowed and lost momentum as I started the turn. The bike now slowing to a stop, turned to the right, my weight tipping further to the right until..CRASH! I’d dropped it.
There I was - a helpless little splat in the middle of the road! I think the embarrassment had me up quicker than I went down! Rob helped me pick the poor bike up, and then we tried a couple more, but oh no- we’re back to wobbling and tap dancing our way round again. All that progress gone in a split second.
Trying to put it behind us, we rode up to the Test Centre for the Mock Test.
No feedback, no guidance- for the next half-hour it’s just me. The ride went ok. The walk round and U-turn went ok (surprisingly). The Emergency Stop was fine (except on my trip round the block, I ended up in a cul-de-sac!) Even the dual carriageway was ok. 70mph still seems more like 170mph to me at the moment and I feel incredibly vulnerable, but I did it.
At the end Rob said there were a couple of times I could’ve built up speed quicker, and a couple of roundabouts that were a bit slow (that fear of sliding), but overall would’ve been good enough to pass a test.
I should’ve been pleased, but all I can think about is how much I need to improve and how close the test is getting. It all feels very hit and miss to me and I just don’t know if I’ll be ready.